Before Matt and I had our asses tattooed earlier this month, I hadn’t been tattooed in a long while.  I’m a huge fan of the art form – I wrote my thesis on it tattoos, afterall – and I’m always thinking of new images or ideas to have tattooed on me.  I just don’t really act on it that quickly because 1) it’s very expensive and 2) I’m lazy.  This month, however, seems to be a bit of an anomaly.  Rachel told me about a tattooer from Toronto that was to be a guest artist at Soul Survivors – she does amazing work, particularly old school and traditional imagery.  Given that I have been interested in having an old school sleeve for a number of years, Rach encouraged me to book time with the guest artist and take advantage of her being in Winnipeg.  It all kind of happened in a rush – Rachel booked my consultation and appointment, I convinced my Dad that this would be the best time for us to get some matching old school tattoos, as we had been talking about, and away we went.

My Dad and I, after much discussion and many a Google Research Project, decided on an old school rose.  His appointment was schedule to immediately follow our consultation.  I told the artist, Jenn, what I wanted and some of the images that I was interested in, and she knew exactly what I had in mind.  She quickly drew up a rose after our consultation and tattooed it on my Dad’s forearm.  Sailor style.

My appointment was on Monday afternoon – I sat for a grueling five and a half hours and had all but one of the six images on my arm completed.  There’s still a bit left to go – filling in the heart on the inside of my arm, adding a lock and key, and adding all of the filler (the dots and stars typical of traditional tattooing).  I prepped myself for the pain of getting tattooed – mentally, that is, as I’m never a fan of popping pills or smoking drugs before getting tattooed.  I’d much rather be lucid throughout the whole experience and, really, the pain is all part of it, so, in my mind, if you can’t hack it without painkillers, don’t do it.  I ain’t a cheater!  All gloating aside, I had prepared for the tattooing, but not for the after effects.  I had a really difficult time sleeping that night – moving around was really awkward and uncomfortable, and after removing the wrapping the next morning, I realized that my arm had swelled up to what felt like that of the Incredible Hulk after he gets cut off in traffic.  My arm is huge and beefy, like I’m part cave woman.

At any rate, this month seems to be the Month of Tattoos for me – first my ass and now my arm.  It isn’t quite finished yet so I’m still a bit anxious to have the filler added, to give the whole thing a sense of cohesion.  Until I can make it to Toronto with a couple hundred dollars in my pocket, I will bask in my swollen, new tattoo glow.  At the risk of sounding like a touchy-feely hippie, I have to admit that being tattooed makes me feel so much more connected to my body (parts), and I’m always so much more proud with and confident in my body after it’s tattooed.  The 18-year-old tiny tattoo really is the gateway drug to becoming a tattooed circus lady.  I’m making my way there.

Matt and I have been talking about getting tattoos together for a long time.  Nothing hokey, nothing mushy, and no names.  We tried to think of something that we were both interested in, and a place that he’d be okay with and that I didn’t already have plans for.  I can remember the night he said to me: “Wouldn’t it be funny if we had pink flamingos tattooed on our asses?”  Hell yes that would be funny!  We talked about it a few times after that, and eventually Matt just said: “Just go across the hall and book it, otherwise we’ll never do it.”  Ink Illusions is across the hall from my office, so I went there a few weeks ago and booked our appointment.  “Where did you want to get it?” the tattooer asked.  “Um, our butts?”  I felt a little awkward and wasn’t sure if he would be grossed out having to be so up close and personal with our asses, but he seemed okay.  “Lucky me!”

Last Saturday we had our appointments.  It hurt more than I thought it would, but it only took about an hour and fifteen minutes.  At first I was nervous at the thought of whipping out my cheek for someone who I actually see and speak to fairly often, but the hilarity of an ass tattoo outweighed the shame of my bare ass.

Behold:

After realizing that my dreams of sandy beaches and fancy drinks with umbrellas in them were not meant to be, I thought that my summer vacation was kiboshed.  But, always the amazing friends that they are, the lovely folks in Montreal responded to my desperate, last minute e-mail request for a possible Montreal retreat with a resounding “yes!”  On top of that, I got in touch with my cousin in Toronto, and she immediately arranged for me to stay with her and her amazing fam for the weekend.  Thanks to these people, my vacation was a hit.

I flew in to Montreal on the morning of Friday, July 17th, and was even able to get the remainder of my pre-workshop assignments completed on the plane.  This trip, like every trip I make to Montreal, was fantastic.  After Montreal, I took a train to Toronto with Dallas and Brian (the last train before the VIA rail strike began…phew!) and went to stay with my cousin, Tannis, and her family.  From there, I went to Vancouver for Simon Fraser University’s Book Editing workshop to learn the ins and outs of editing non-fiction.  Overall, my two weeks away this summer were amazing.  Here are some highlights:

1. Roller Derby

The final match before the championships for the Montreal Roller Derby League was held on Saturday, July 18th, and it was quite possibly the most fun I’ve ever had at a sporting event.  The arena was filled with an eclectic mix of people – older couples, children, young people, drunk people – but the atmosphere was positive and exciting.  We were lucky enough to have the boyfriend of one of the players sitting with us, so he explained the rules, some of the ref’s calls, and some of the team strategies as they played out on the rink.  We drank beer (two for $5!), cheered loudly, built a beer-amid, and came up with our own roller derby names (Wrath of Khan, Mark my Words, Dallas Does Derby, and Brian Gofuckyourself).  It was all kinds of fun.  The after party, held at Caigibi, made for some hilarious shenanigans, and was eventually taken to Mod Night at Blizzarts.  There, we danced to awesome 60s music while an Elvis movie played on the screen behind the DJs.

2. Cheesecake and Birthday Wishes

My 28th birthday was on Monday, July 20th, and I had an amazing day.  I woke up early, went for a run, and got dressed up to spend the day shopping.  Karen, Lee, and I spent a relaxing few hours on their back patio before heading over to Dallas and Brian’s for an absolutely amazing Thai dinner prepared by the gracious hosts themselves.  Karen, Lee, Dallas, Brian, Mark, and I relaxed, drank wine, talked, and enjoyed a delicious banana chocolate cheesecake care of Dallas’ amazing culinary skills.  Mark and Brian left for band practice and Karen and Lee retired for bed while Dallas and I stayed up talking about the realities of growing older, the increasing frequency of friends’ nuptials, and terrible shoes.  We capped off the night, after Brian returned from band practice, with some It’s Always Sunny.  Best birthday ever.

3. Just for Laughs with Aziz Ansari and Marc Maron

On Tuesday night we all met up on St. Denis, which was blocked off for the Just for Laughs Festival.  We had dinner at a cheap little Thai restaurant and made our way over to Theatre Saint-Catherine for the Aziz Ansari show.  The theatre itself only seats maybe 100 people, so the show was small and intimate, which was excellent.  All of the performers that night were great – the opener was hilarious, Aziz was funny (albeit a total name-dropper), and the ‘free’ show after Aziz, Marc Maron, was an hour spent drifting between the extreme depression and boiterous laughter.  That guy can tell a story, but Jesus H. Christ he’s got issues.  I even saw Gary Gulman in the audience.  Exciting!

4. Yoga with Karen

One of the things that I look forward to every time I visit Montreal is going with Karen to her yoga class.  Not only is her class itself relaxing and challenging, all at the same time, but the drive there and back gives us a chance to talk and catch up and I really value that time to and from her class.  She’s an amazing yoga instructor to boot, so those classes are good for my body as well as for my soul.  Provided I don’t fall over (ha!).

5. Tattoos with Tannis

After a joke about getting matching Jem and the Holograms tattoos, Tannis and I spent the week leading up to my arrival in Toronto frantically e-mailing back and forth to try to decide on a tattoo design that we could agree on.  What started as a joke became “one of the greatest ideas we’ve ever had.”  Tannis booked us an appointment at TCB Tattoo in Toronto and the swallows were inked into our skin – hers on her ribcage, and mine on my arm.  Matching tattoos may be cheezy to some, but they’re always fun for me.  I’m so glad we got them done.

6. The Badass Shoe Museum

A running joke for the weekend in Toronto: I mis-heard Tannis when she said we were going to the Bata Shoe Museum, thinking she said the Badass Shoe Museum.  Badass or not, it was a great outing with her, Todd, and the kiddies.  Who knew shoes could be so interesting?

7. Birthday Dinner with the Family

On Saturday night, Tannis invited the rest of the Toronto Family – my aunt and cousin – over for a birthday dinner.  Spending time with my family for my birthday felt like being at home, and I was really touched that they went all out, with a cake and everything!  Just being able to hang out with those adorable little kids and to see the members of my family that I rarely get to see was a real treat.  Plus, the cake caused me to fall into an amazing a chocolate coma.

8. Beaches Jazz Festival

After the birthday dinner, my aunt very graciously offered to look after the kids so that Tannis, Todd, and I could head out for the night.  We met up with Tannis’ friend Bianca at the Beaches Jazz Festival.  Queen Street East was blocked off for what seemed like miles and miles, and makeshift stages were set up at every block where different jazz or blues bands would play.  It was amazing: there were tons of people, great music, and we had an awesome night filled with beer and jokes.  The night ended with us waking up my aunt as we microwaved dinner leftovers at 3am.  Good times, good times.

9. Vancouver Solo Redux

The Book Editing program was excellent – just like last year, I met some great people, learned a hell of a lot in a short period of time, and had a chance to see some more of Vancouver.  I met up with my cousin and his girlfriend for dinner one night, and, given that this year’s workshop was much less intense than last year’s, I was able to spend some time alone during the evenings walking around, taking photos, and enjoying some patios.  Vancouver’s record-breaking heat wave was a welcome change from the dreary and rainy weather I’d faced in Montreal and Toronto, and back at home in Winnipeg.  It was a sweaty good time, and I welcomed the solo time to relax and unwind in the sun.

1. Be nicer to the cat

2. Run a 10km race without stopping by June, and become a committed runner in the process

3. Finish my thesis by the end of June

4. Take more time for myself

5. Spend more time with good friends

6. Stay in touch with good friends outside the 204

6. Take more photographs

7. Become more socially active

8. Get my phoenix finished

9. Cut back on the booze, already

10. Figure out what is missing, and be brave enough to do whatever I need to do to attain it