I don’t cry like a little bitch when I can’t open my milk.

Matt and I went to see Louis CK perform at the Walker Theatre this past Friday and there’s no other way to say it: Best Standup Ever.  We got tickets months ago (using the same gift card we used to buy tickets to the aurally-disastrous Timber Timbre/Final Fantasy show a few weeks ago).  We’ve been anticipating it ever since, as we’re both huge fans.  Friends of ours also went and my brother managed to get tickets in the fourth row by showing up to the box office a few hours before the show (son of a bitch).

Expecting there to be at least one opener, I was getting a little antsy as we waited in our seats for the show to start.  Half an hour after it was supposed to start, the lights suddenly dimmed and Louis CK walked out – which I’m sure was as much a surprise to everyone else as it was to me, as the audience immediately started laughing.  All it takes is for him to be in the same room and we’re in a fit of laughter.  He went on for about an hour and a half, with ten minutes of encore, of consistently hilarious stories and jokes that left my side aching and my face plastered with a ridiculous, goofy smile by the time the show was done.  The only downer was the dude sitting next to me: he hardly made a sound, which was super irritating because it made me hyper-aware of how much I was laughing and how I potentially sounded like a hyena.  Fucken guy.  Other than his somber ass, I had the best night.  Louis CK has some serious talent – I hadn’t heard any of the material he delivered that night before, and all of it was awesome.  He even had the audience laughing at homeless people, little kids, pedophilia, and old man genitalia.  I honestly thought to myself at a few points during the show: “I can’t believe I’m laughing at pedophilia.”

We all congregated outside after the show – Matt and I, a few of our friends, comedy friends of Matt’s that were there, my brother and his friend – and stood around giggling and smiling and repeating our favorite jokes.  I was on a crazy high.  Even though Louis CK was in the lobby signing autographs and stuff and despite my penchant for trying to get thumbs-up photos with famous people, I wanted to leave on that high, so we left.  We had a few drinks with some friends and called it a night.  Dane Cook can officially suck it.  Louis CK is the shit.

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