On Saturday night my friend April hosted a Passion Party. For those of you unfamiliar with the phenomenon, a passion party is essentially a tupperwear party but with dildos and massage oil.
A woman who hosts these parties in the evenings came over to April’s around 7:30 p.m. to set up, and presented all of the different lotions and massage oils and candles and vibrators and “g spot enhancers” that she brought with her. It was fun, as we basically hung out and drank wine and ate good food and got to see all of this stuff – including a glow in the dark dildo that suctions to the wall/tub/coffee table (my personal favorite, if only for its comedic value). At the end of the presentation, she set up in another room and each of us went to see her individually to order whatever we wanted. While the party itself was fun, I didn’t go overboard on ordering (and while we were under no obligation to buy anything, there obviously was pressure to buy at least something to make this woman’s time at April’s worth her while). The stuff was expensive and I realized, after talking to a friend there about it, there’s really no guarantee that these products are any good. I mean, there’s no ‘brand name’ to rely on and the list of ingredients didn’t really instill any confidence in each product’s ability not to make me break out in hives or get some kind of equally unpleasant reaction. Particularly for those lotions and elixirs meant to be applied inside your body. Yikes. So I stuck with those products that aren’t in liquid or lotion form and that aren’t meant to end up nestled somewhere between my ovaries.
After the presentation the sales rep/Passion Party woman told us about all of the perks we’d get if we hosted our own party – perks for a total party order above a particular price point; perks for orders made after the party was over; perks for the number of orders made…the list was lengthy. April was given a small red satin and black lace bag (for her ‘purchases’) that looked like a boustier as a gift for hosting the party. Once the rep left we tried to think of ways to alter it so that April’s puppy could wear it (no, that’s not a euphemism for anything, we were really trying to put it on the dog). The whole thing was really interesting. While I likely would never host one of these things myself, nor would I really be jumping at the bit to go to one again, it was interesting to watch the whole thing unfold: the odd dynamic that is created when a stranger has to find some quick way of relating to a room full of women she has just met in an effort to make them all feel comfortable enough to buy a rotating vibrator with a face on it, or a vagina-shaped masturbation sleeve for ‘her man’. And, on that note, the ‘masturbation sleeve‘ – which looked like one of those water-filled sausage things you often find at gag gift stores – was $35 fucking bucks, plus shipping and tax! Yeah, it may be “modeled after a real vagina!” but guess what? I have my very own and it doesn’t cost anything.
These parties, it seems, could serve a really good purpose (if I may over-analyze for a bit) – it makes the discussion of issues that are normally made to seem taboo for some women a lot easier and open. You can ask questions and read about products you may never heard of before, all designed with the intentions of giving you pleasure. The focus of the party was not (save for the overpriced ’sleeve’ and one or two other items) on how to make sex better for your partner, but how to make it better for you (or how to make pleasing him/her better for you – hence the “Tasty Tease” cream stuff you coat your mouth with to make giving a blow job taste like eating a really big candy cane…or to make oral sex taste like eating a mint sundae). It was also nice to see that the rep didn’t assume she was talking to a room of straight women (although she was, but she never assumed that). So many other venues for the public discussion of sex (I’m looking at you, Cosmo) are structured around ways in which you can please him (women pleasing men specifically and exclusively), and this Passion Party focus is refreshing. That said, even with all of the empowerment and focus on my sexual well being, I’m not sure I want to rub some mysterious cream (whose ingredients include, according to a friend of mine who was there, known carcinogens) on my bits. To each her own.
Filed under: Awesome | Tagged: body image, feminism, friends
You have to realize that not all parties are like that. I’m sure the consultant that was there was doing the best she could and I am not sure how long she has been doing Passion Parties. Maybe she was new…maybe she didn’t receive enough training, maybe she was feeling upset and uncomfortable that you guys were trying to fit the Bustier Bag on a dog…an item that we pay for out of pocket as a gift to the hostess of the party. I know that would’ve made me sad and I have been doing this for 2 years.
Most of us are very well trained and are qualified to advise what the ingredients are of items such as Pure Satisfaction (which is what I’ll assume you are talking about that contains so-called carcinogens) and how they benefit women. And IF this product was bad or even potentially bad for you, why were we profiled on The Doctors tv show in January in the Between the Sheets edition and why were we called back in February to allow the Doctors to talk of the very real benefits of our products? Specifically Pure Satisfaction and G-Spot Creme.
The masturbation sleeve is very well priced and men love it. I know that you say you have a real one…we all do but sometimes, after children, getting up in age, etc. out libido slows down. If our husbands is still raging, why not let him use a Mimi or a Gigi sleeve? All men masturbate…if they say they don’t, they’re lying. But it’s not only for just men. It’s a great couples toy and a fabulous bumper guard for those of us who have a nasty gag reflex or just don’t like giving oral sex.
Please don’t let one bad experience ruin Passion Parties for you. Let me know where you are and I will have a great consultant do a party the right way
I didn’t criticize the party, the host, or mention anything about not having a good time. I had a great time. And we didn’t take her ‘gift’ and put it on the dog in front of her – we waited until she left. I don’t care if your products are featured on a TV show, I still am not comfortable putting cream inside of me when there’s no guarantee that it won’t cause some kind of reaction for me. And no, the masturbation sleeve is not well-priced, and despite the myriad reasons why one would want one (which is fine for someone else, but this post was about my reactions to the party and products), I still think it’s a waste of $35. I didn’t have a bad experience at this party at all – to the contrary, I really enjoyed myself. So please, before you comment, you need to actually read the post, instead of just blindly promoting yourself on my blog.