The Genius

On Monday night I went to the Pyramid with Meghan, her sister and brother-in-law, and a few of their friends to see GZA.  I have always had a fun time at the Pyramid, and Monday night was no different.

We started out with a few drinks and some tasty appetizers at Bree-Ann and Curran’s place (a convenient three blocks from my apartment), topped off with a bit of a pre-show Beyonce dance party (put a ring on it!). The walk to the show was probably a good thing.  Although I certainly do not condone public drunkenness (shame on me).

We got to the show around 10 or 10:30 (honestly, my memory is vague, as by that time I had already had six beers), just in time to see the openers (some local Winnipeg DJs/rappers).

Meghan managed to squeeze us in to the side of the stage, through a crowd of mostly young, white, douchey dudes, where we watched the first half of GZA’s performance.  It was awesome, I shouted lots, and he even came over and shook my hand (well, he did some kind of handshake thing, to which I apparently responded “Rrrrr, GZA!” in my drunken elation).

After about an hour, and repeated rib jabs from the crazy bitch with the backpack dancing next to me, we decided to head to the back bar and enjoy the show from a distance.  The problem I seem to have with the Classic Pre-Game, is that once I get to the bar I feel the need to constantly hold a beer in my hand.   And when I have a beer in my hand, I feel the need to constantly drink it.  Thus, I was pretty done-zo by the end of the night.  We made friends with various folks on the patio (nicknaming them as we met them, as Meghan and I are known to do) – FruitSnacks was one patiofriend in particular that I remember seeing pretty consistently throughout the night, as he was pretty obviously trying to hit on Meghan, without realizing her finely honed deflection skills were no match for his game.

Near the end of his set, we made our way back up to the stage, and watched as he pulled a few chicks out of the crowd and sent them backstage.  One of them was Meghan’s sister’s friend.  We all shouted and laughed as she ran backstage (her husband looking on).  She came back a few minutes later, explaining that GZA wanted the girls he picked out from the crowd to go back to his hotel room with him.  She told him that she was married and wasn’t interested, to which he responded “you look like you have soft hair.”

Waiting in line for coat check, I was approached by a man that looked like Jesus, who I had seen on stage while GZA was performing.  He handed me a wrist band that read “Winnipeg Folk Festival – Child” and asked “Do you want to meet GZA?”  I turned to Meghan who was in line behind me and asked “Do we want to meet GZA?” (I was unsure if by “meet” he meant “fuck”).  Meghan responded “hell yes!” so Jesus took me, Meghan, and her sister upstairs to meet the man.  When we got up there, we walked through a door and into a tiny room with a low ceiling.  Two girls – one of whom I recognized as one of GZA’s picks from the crowd – were sitting at a large folding table, on which was a bowl with some fruit in it, a few bottles of vodka, and a case of water bottles.  There were a few other people standing around – two young white guys, another girl, and maybe another dude (again, hazy memories).  We stood there awkwardly and watched as GZA walked through another door and scanned the crowd of people in his ‘dressing room’.  He didn’t look impressed.

One of the girls at the table was eating a banana from the fruit bowl, and exclaimed “GZA this fruit is good, you should try it.”  The young white dudes started freaking out, asking “Yo GZA you coming back to the Peg City? GZA that show was awesome! GZA where are you going next?”  Meghan and I looked at one another and she pointed to the vodka and said “so…we should probably have some of that.”  I agreed.  She poured the three of us some vodka into red plastic beer cups and, when she saw there was no mix, loudly asked “GZA you got no mix – where’s your mix at?”  I told her to just put water in it.  It wasn’t that good.

We were only up there for a few minutes, but as soon as I got up there I realized that all I wanted to do was get a picture with the man and get the hell out.  The other people that were there were idiots.  Classic quotes from backstage:

Blonde chick: “Where are you staying tonight, GZA?  Do you have a hotel?”
GZA: “Of course I have a hotel, where do you think I’m gonna to sleep?  Your place?”
Blonde chick: “You can stay at my place.  On the couch, though.”

Fruit-eating chick: “GZA, you brought the wrong girls up here, because we’re not going to do anything with you.”

It was seriously awkward.  He came over to where we were standing, drinking his vodka, and each of us told him we enjoyed the show (I stared awkwardly at him, that I remember well).  Meghan’s sister asked if we could get a photo with him.  He agreed, we thanked him, we took our vodka and we left.

As soon as I got downstairs, I shouted to the first recognizable face I saw, “GZA and I are BFFs!  We’re BFFs!  This is his vodka!”  I believe I also texted a Tweet at that moment that read: “GZA and I just had a moment.”  I’m an idiot.  At least I didn’t offer the man my couch.

It was a fun night, complete with all of the awkward conversations and ridiculous individuals that make for a perfect night-out-story.  So, GZA, thanks for the awesome night and the vodka.